I’m from Spain and really love living as an exchange student in Krakow. I’ve met some really cute guys too, but often they confuse me.
Dear Luiza, I’ve been dating this great guy for nearly four months. It’s all still pretty new, but I think we should solve this problem sooner rather than later. It might sound strange, but it drives me mad that his attitude is that it’s all about me when we have sex. I hardly ever get a chance to do anything for him. Every time I try, he pushes me away and switches to making sure that I get what I need. I have tried to broach the subject, but don’t really get an answer that makes sense to me. Of course it’s great that he will do almost anything to turn me on, but I would also like to do something for him. If he asks me after we have had sex if I liked it, and I answer “Yes, and was it nice for you?” he says “Yes, if it was nice for you”. It’s […]
Dear Luiza, I arrived in Krakow nearly a year ago to finish my studies, and everybody seem to have a boyfriend /girlfriend or ‘friend with benefits.’ Is this a Polish speciality? Back in England, I never heard of this. You have a friend, someone you like to hang out with, and perhaps you have sex. You are not in love, you just do it when you feel like it. I can’t get my head around the idea. Am I being an old-fashioned, prudish, bore? Dear … No, I’m not going to call you ‘prim,’ and there are no hard and fast rules about whether you should sleep with your good friends or not. All you need to know is that it does make a difference if you have slept with someone. So, the question is really about boundaries. How far do you want to let someone else get close to you? It can be very difficult […]
Dear Luiza, I came to Krakow to set up an outsourcing department for a big company. The job is fantastic, but I have a hard time getting a date. I know I’m a little plain, but I am actually quite an interesting person. I’m just not someone who feels comfortable dressing up in high heels and lots of make-up. What can I do to attract someone? Love, Anne Dear Anne, ‘Meet Him on a Suspension Bridge’ was the title of an interesting survey done in Canada some years back. A young, bookish woman stopped male adventurers on a rickety bridge, asked them a random question and give them her telephone number in case they were “interested in getting the results of the survey.” Later, the survey was repeated with all details the same, except that it was on a safe, sturdy bridge. The results were compelling. Not only were the men on the shaky bridge more […]
Dear Luiza, My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years. We love and trust each other, but recently he has been questioning our monogamous relationship. He says he’d like to have an ‘open relationship.’ What should I do? I don’t want to be old-fashioned, jealous or clingy, but I don’t feel comfortable with the situation. I’m really lost. Love, Kasia Dear Kasia, Never squander the opportunity that comes with a crisis. You have arrived at a crossroads – the perfect moment for a clarifying conversation with your partner. Basic, fundamental questions must be answered. Why are you together? What is your idea of the ideal relationship? What do each of you need? Are you prepared to look out for each other? It’s amazing how few people stop to ask, and answer, these basic questions. Three years together in a stable relationship is a long time, and you are ready to take it to […]