Dear Luiza: Stop Selling Sex in Your Shop!

Dear Luiza,

We are all close to Valentine’s Day, and I am close to despair. I seem to have become the chick everyone wants to have sex with, but no-one wants to have a romantic relationship with. I simply don’t understand why I seem to attract all the ‘cold’ guys.

Dear Despairing,

You attract the ‘cold’ guys, because that’s your image of love. I’m sorry if this sounds tough, but we have to go back to your childhood.

Did your father show you affection, or did he simply provide for you? If your father had difficulties loving then you cannot attract a man with an open heart.

If your mother showed you love, then at least you will transfer love to other women. If, however, she also had problems showing affection, you may have a hard time.

Of course we cannot change our childhoods, but we can start afresh from where we are, right now. There has never been a better moment. The year has just begun. Make the decision right now. Embark on a love-your-self-expedition today.

For example, you can attend workshops and read books on that subject. You can do a 10-session one-on-one therapy with me, and take a fresh look at your convictions and beliefs about who you are. And more importantly, who you want to become.

Maybe you can introduce one or two, daily love-myself rituals. like going to the mirror, looking yourself deeply in the eyes and saying ”I love you. I really love you,” out loud.

We probably all need to do some of these exercises once in a while, so we attract people who are good for us. The more we love and respect ourselves, the more love and respect we will receive from people around us. It sounds counter-intuitive, but time and time again, I see how true it is.

My advice to you is to stop ‘selling sex’ in your shop and instead, spend some time getting to know each other. If you exclude sex completely, at least for a while, would he still be interested?

Yours Luiza

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