Dear Luiza: Talking to the Kids About Sex

Dear Luiza,

I know a parent should be able to talk to their child about sex, but do you have any guidelines? My daughter is 14 and my son is 10.

Best regards from a shy mother.

Dear Shy Mother,

It is more important than ever to talk to your child about sex. If your child is prepared, the porno industry, and other strangers on the internet, will not be able to scare, seduce or impress them quite so easily.

Look at it like a fire drill at school. If your child is prepared when fire breaks out, he or she will know how to keep a cool head, and find the emergency exit quickly.

It is important you take the initiative, and that you do so often. Even if you are shy or embarrassed, don’t let that stop you – just be honest about it, or try my old trick of using examples from other people they may have read about, or seen in a video.

Michael Jackson is a great conversation starter. Was he a boy? Was he a man ? Did he try to look like a girl ? Did he act like a child ? Why do some adults like to touch children? Has it happened to them? What makes them feel awkward? When is it nice? Where are their limits? We all have limits etc…

Be specific in your choice of words. Saying ‘Down there’ or ‘Private parts’ is not helpful for a generation that is growing up with much more colourful terms. You may need some coaching before you can use such words with ease.

Talk about privacy and demonstrate it through your actions. Knock on your child’s door, before entering their room. Don’t force them to hug you if they don’t want to. This teaches your child they have a right to privacy, a right to decide over their own body, and that ‘no’ means ‘no,’ even to an adult.

Do not assume that your child is heterosexual, just because you are. I could make this list even longer, but instead I invite you to join my workshops on this and other related subjects, just keep an eye on the Krakow Post Facbook page. Yours, Luiza

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One thought on “Dear Luiza: Talking to the Kids About Sex

  • February 1, 2014 at 2:13 am
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    Hi Luiza
    I work with children and parents in the UK. I am impressed with your reply. It would be great if more parents here took this approach.

    Reply

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