I’m a mature fellow of 47, and recently single. I am amazingly successful at picking up women, but they always seem to have ‘issues,’ such as alcohol, drugs or psychological problems. I really miss a relationship with a ‘normal’ woman. How do I pick the right one? Since I have become single, I have started to contact call-girls, sometimes 20 years younger than myself. Is it because I’m missing something in my life?
Dear Aquarius, or should I say Prince Iron heart?
You attract women with issues, because you have Knight-in-Shining-Armour-Syndrome. A knight will always spot a victim. If he didn’t, he’d have to put his own issues in the spotlight.
It’s an unconscious strategy you have. By picking a partner who’s got it worse than you, you avoid turning the attention on yourself, and you feel like a hero as long as you can cheer her up. The trouble is that the victim becomes more of a victim, and you the saviour, becomes more and more frustrated that your heroic efforts produce no results.
You buy young escort girls instead, because there are no obvious expectations or obligations on you… or so you think. They too are victims, though I am sure you are really nice and keen they should ‘also enjoy themselves’ so you don’t leave with a bad conscience.
My advice would be for you to make good use of your time as a single man by working with yourself, so you can attract a different type of woman next time.
An important step is to begin therapy. Now is the time to get to know yourself. The archetypal image of the dragon that needs to be slain before you get to the treasure, can also be interpreted as the dragon you carry within yourself.
I wish you all the courage you will need.