Dear Doctor Ovlowska,
I am a single man from the UK living in Krakow.
I am secretly in love with the barman of my local bar, but I am not sure how to tell him. We get along just fine, and he seems interested in me, but when I approach the subject of love, he quickly changes the topic.
What should I do? I don’t want to find a new place to drink, but can’t bear the agony!
Lonely in Krakow
Dear Lonely in Krakow,
The moment for action has come. You have taken the passive, romantic role for a while and not obtained the desired result. Now you must become more assertive.
Talking about love is a woman’s thing. Your barman does not seem to get turned on by you in the feminine role, so you must assume a more masculine style.
Get out there and “take him on”. Walk up to him, say you think his bar is a great place but you are a newcomer and, “what is his favourite hang-out when he’s not working?”
Play the one great trump card we all have by being foreigners in this glorious city of Krakow. Ask questions. Ask for advice, followed by “…will you take me there?” and a long, suggestive look. If he is receptive, it will work wonders!
Don’t flinch. You are playing the male part now. You know what you want and you are going to get it. You are the exotic stranger: someone with a mysterious past, someone who might have danced on the floors of the hottest clubs of Amsterdam or Berlin.
In the subtle game of seduction and courtship, regardless of gender, there is always one who assumes the passive role and one who assumes the aggressive role. This polarity is crucial! Electrical charge is only possible between plus and minus.
Just bear in mind that you are in an old-school, Catholic part of the world. It doesn’t mean you are the only one who feels an attraction towards the same sex, it simply means you need to be alert before you start fondling anything or anybody without clear permission.
Master that, and you will always enjoy the best this city has to offer.
I wish you luck!
Have a question for Dr. Ovlowska? Send your query to lovelife [at] krakowpost.com!