RADIO FREE KRAKOW: A Satirical Summer Playlist

Deal with it
Deal with it [FAKT24]
Your DJ Michelin Man (aka ‘Fatboy’ Karski‘) brings you the hottest political hits to jam to during the dog days of liberal democracy summer in Poland!

  1. I gotta (zdradzieckie) feeling – THE BLACK-EYED PiS
  2. (I’m thinkin’ of) good reparations – THE BIĆ BOYS
  3. Everybody wants to rule the world – TEARS FOR PiS
  4. Livin’ on a prayer – THE POLISH VOTERS
  5. I fought the forest and the forest won – JOHNNY and the VANDALS
  6. EURO my world – THE MERKELETTES
  7. With a little interference from my (former)friends – LOS POLACOS ESCOBAROS
  8. Constant craving – ALL OPPOSITION PARTIES
  9. He ain’t heavy, he’s my (democratically elected) leader – THE PiS SUPPORTERS
  10. While my constitution gently weeps – THE POLISH VOTERS
  11. Land of confusion – ASTRO AND THE TURFERS
  12. Every day I have the blues – ALL OPPOSITION PARTIES
  13. Shake some action – THE GROOVY POLISH VOTERS
  14. Don’t go breaking my primeval forest – THE MEN FROM BRUSSELS (SIX FOOT FOUR AND FULL OF MUSCLES)
  15. Can’t stop the felling – JANEK TIMBERCUT
  16. Crazy little thing called law – THE POLISH VOTERS

And a special bonus for classical music buffs:

17. La ci darem la chainsaw – W.A. MOZART (from PAN GIOVANNI)

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15 thoughts on “RADIO FREE KRAKOW: A Satirical Summer Playlist

  • August 26, 2017 at 8:19 pm
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    We gotta get out of this place – The Animals (of Bialowieza Forest)

    Reply
    • August 27, 2017 at 12:07 pm
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      It’s my KRAJ and I’ll party if I want to – They Might Be Giants (but we taught them how to use a fork)

      Reply
  • September 3, 2017 at 12:01 pm
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    SHOCK NEWS: Germany and Russia reject Poland’s claim for reparations.
    In other news: the Pope revealed to be a Catholic.

    Memo to the Polish government – if this claim is serious and not just for domestic consumption, then submit it for arbitration to the United Nations or similar independent body.

    Reply
  • September 10, 2017 at 12:09 am
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    Welcome to PiS WORLD, the latest global tourist sensation.

    Here you can live out your fantasies: you can burn your enemies in effigy, you can decimate primeval forests, you can hurl abuse and vitriol at your political opponents, you can be nasty about foreigners

    But

    DO NOT use rude words at rock concerts.

    Reply
    • September 10, 2017 at 3:15 pm
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      Joking aside and as much as I disagree with the PiS agenda, which seems to do absolutely nothing to discourage creeping xenophobia – (and consequently will do very little to attract tourism to Poland) – on the specific question of reparations from Germany, whatever the legality or otherwise of the claim, – it does seem to me that there may be some merit in the argument that Poland in 1953 was not a sovereign state when any reparations demands were waived.

      But, to repeat what I suggested before, the claim needs to be assessed by independent arbitrators if Mr Kaczynski and co are really serious about this. Present the case at the United Nations. Otherwise, the rhetoric about reparations only damages relations with neighbours.

      Reply
      • September 13, 2017 at 1:46 am
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        Mr K said the other day that Poland could become “an island of freedom and tolerance”. Either he’s genuinely turning into a liberal or he actually believes his own rhetoric and sees no irony in his words.

        The chairman’s pronouncement about a Fourth Republic does seem to be a clear signal that he wants to take Poland out of the EU.

        Will the voters of Poland follow him to his island?

        Can ‘Ucho Prezesa’ keep with all these shocking developments?

        Can the Prezes himself survive the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?

        Keep that dial tuned to RADIO FREE KRAKOW…

        Reply
  • September 13, 2017 at 3:39 pm
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    New political definitions:

    PiSocracy – A system in which the supreme ruler appeals to (1) national pride, (2) a sense of national victimhood, and where the functionaries (3) promise vast sums in reparations from the Eternal Foreigner (but somehow not the other Foreigner) and which are not likely to be realized but which reinforce the above sense of victimhood, (4) and where anyone who disagrees with their agenda is immediately labelled a traitor.

    Benign Allemania: The desire to be seen as the most democratic and welcoming country on the planet in order to obliterate forever the UNMENTIONABLE (which the uncouth PiSocrats insist on mentioning).

    Progressive Faragism: A condition in which Eastern Europeans are simultaneously unwelcome outsiders and job-destroyers when they’re over in the UK, but anti-Brussels heroes when they’re back in their own countries.

    Junckeritis: A vague, hippy dreamworld in which all Europeans love each other and nobody chops down ancient forests for profit and where everyone plays by the same rules and maybe we’ll use sanctions and maybe we won’t and does it all really matter anyway….

    Trumpology: The fine art of pithy epigrams. It’s true.

    Reply
    • September 14, 2017 at 11:55 am
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      From ‘The Meditations of Remainus Brittanicus”:

      Avoid judging percussionists on the basis of their recent political pronouncements, but assess them instead on their total artistry, which includes not only underrated drumming (superb hi-hat work on the big hits of the sixties) but also the occasional film role. Peace and love.

      Reply
  • September 18, 2017 at 6:45 am
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    Not a bad little film doing the rounds, courtesy of IPN, I suppose – perhaps a bit heavy on the gung-ho element for some tastes, but it does make the point about Poland being crushed between two superpowers, something which has not really been appreciated by many in the West. In fact, there have been those western commentators who either see the Polish army as a bunch of gallant but crazed cavalrymen charging tanks or else accuse them of caving in to the Germans with hardly a fight.

    But airbrushing out Walesa is like not mentioning Jan Sobieski in the context of the Battle of Vienna.

    I thought that Professor Vimislav Estrafalario was a figment of my imagination, but it looks as if someone in the upper echelons of the party structure has given him a job.

    http://www.krakowpost.com/14502/2017/05/fiction-roman-origins-krakow-karski

    Reply
  • September 18, 2017 at 4:56 pm
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    If anyone wants to watch something requiring more of an attention span and featuring real footage as opposed to a stylized account, there’s a 48 minute-long British documentary from 2002 entitled “Gladiators of World War Two – The Free Polish Forces” which is far more low-key. Although the film concentrates on the Polish army and does not go into the topic of civilian deaths at home, and although it does repeat the myth of the reckless cavalry charge –

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/apr/06/myth-of-polish-cavalry-charge

    still it does give a useful summary of the Polish forces in exile, a topic not only little known in the West but also not spoken about by the authorities in the years of Communist rule in Poland. (And not only does Wojtek the bear get a mention, but so does a certain moustachioed trade union leader).

    Reply
  • September 19, 2017 at 3:27 am
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    MARS TODAY – tonight’s top story:

    “Anti-Venusianism is negative,” says WREDI ZRAF of the Martian Android Collective. “I will microwave you if you call me an anti-Venusian, you Venusian zero. We are all tolerant in the Martian Android Collective. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Transmission ends in 3, 2, 1…”

    In other news, XAAFI WRED says “it’s not easy being green”. Full report after the break.

    Reply
  • September 19, 2017 at 11:41 am
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    Encouraging to hear Mr K condemning anti-Semitism. Does this also mean the end of extremists giving the (allegedly Roman) fascist salute and does it also mean no more scenes of people burning effigies (allegedly of Soros)? Where does free expression end and incitement to violence begin? Any inflammatory (literally) incidents do tend to get focused on world-wide whereas positive news such as the Zabinski Awards get far less attention.

    Reply
  • September 20, 2017 at 11:17 am
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    @ Bloke in a Gorilla Suit – Have you been watching Mork from the Planet Ork?

    @ The Polish Government – The reason I think that all this reparations from Germany business is mostly just talk aimed at a domestic audience is that, to the best of my knowledge, nothing has actually been done to combat the continued use by people in the foreign press, of the formulation “Polish concentration camps” or similar, despite promises by the government of legal action. It is left to organizations like “Polish Media Issues” to actually monitor these outbreaks of ignorance and to demand corrections.

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/polishmediaissues/

    Instead of threatening to prosecute Jerzy Owsiak (a charity organiser – the Polish equivalent of Bob Geldof) for one or two swear words, wouldn’t it be better to spend time and resources on the above? There might be problems with any defence which could say “but this is only meant as a geographical description”, but a threat of legal action might be effective in many cases.

    Another instance where legal action could be successful and might do much “pour encourager les autres” is the slander of the person of General Wladyslaw Sikorski by British historian Simon Webb.

    http://www.scotsman.com/heritage/people-places/were-secret-concentration-camps-run-in-scotland-during-wwii-1-4024233

    The Polish ambassador objected to the scurrilous allegations at the time. My own article rebutting Webb’s hatchet job was published in the London “Tydzien Polski” in December 2016, but since Sikorski was an opponent of Pilsudski and the subsequent post 1935 government, perhaps he is still considered as less than a true Polish patriot by today’s ruling party? Mr K, I understand is a big fan of Pilsudski but even the Marszalek wouldn’t have let a fellow officer be traduced in this way.

    Reply
    • September 20, 2017 at 2:18 pm
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      Thank you, KP, for indulging me with all these comments. For anyone who does not have access to the print copy of the Polish paper I mentioned, the upshot of my defense of Sikorski was that, although he may have had feet of clay – (in terms of the way he dealt with individuals from the pre-war Polish government whom he held responsible for the 1939 catastrophe) – his imprisonment of his political opponents was based on his being as much an anti-Communist as an anti-Nazi and not, as Webb alleges, because he was an anti-Semite. This is slander.

      Reply

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